In case the health of the baby and the benefits to mom’s own body aren’t enough, there’s yet another reason why women should breastfeed.
Apparently milky boobs are a turn on to some men.
It’s kind of funny how I learned about this. I’m not an internet junky. I don’t enjoy surfing the web and I’m not into porn – I prefer reading books and having sex. The internet just doesn’t really do it for me. That said, there are some really great uses for the internet. One of them is looking up really stupid stuff that you simply can’t find elsewhere.
Like this morning when I was trying to remember how big my boobs got last time I was pregnant and breastfeeding. Already my breasts have increased more than a full cup size and I’m just two months pregnant. So I headed to the internet to read about what other women had to say about their own breast growth. And what do I find but a site dedicated to a lactating-women fetish!
I wasn’t about to keep this to myself so here you go.
Fine if you think it’s gross or insulting or demeaning but, frankly, I think it’s cool as hell! I’m not saying that I am going to become a part of this fetish but there’s a kind of comfort for me in knowing that it exists. You see, I have been secretly fearing what lactating for 2 years is going to do to my relationship. A healthy sex life is a big part of a healthy relationship.
My last marriage was rocky by the time Evelyn was born and sex was already a thing of the past. I never thought about how my leaky boobs would affect my sex life because I didn’t have a sex life. But Julian and I have a better relationship and sex is a big part of our bond. He’s a pretty kinky guy so I’ve kind of figured that he’ll miraculously find a way to love them in all their drippiness, but the question still haunts me: what if he doesn’t?
What if our sex life suffers as a result of my duty to my baby?
Well, if it does, whatever. I’m going to breastfeed no matter what, of course, but it would be nice to know that I’m not going to be a lonely mommy with a guy that doesn’t want to come too close. Now that I know leaky boobs can be sexy I feel at ease. Just thought you all might like to know…
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January 9, 2012 at 11:49 am
I’ve read before about women selling their breast milk to people, say on Craigslist, the reasons people buy would vary from the legit and non-creepy such as needing it for a baby because the mother couldn’t produce enough, to fetishes like pouring it all over oneselfs body or that of their partner(s); a small fraction of adult males just like the flavor and buy it for personal consumpion.
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January 9, 2012 at 12:32 pm
Interesting, I never would’ve known that exists.
Well, I’m breastfeeding now (lil dude is 13 months), and I will say that I don’t enjoy having them touched much. They get touched all day long, and it has nothing to do with them being “for” my child, I’m just touched out and don’t enjoy it. It’s probably different if you have a kid who doesn’t need to nurse so much, but mine does. Hubs has never been grossed out though, and our sex life hasn’t suffered from it at all.
Frequency of sex post-baby is a whole different topic. Our son wakes throughout the night, and even though we bed share, I need to go to sleep very shortly after he does to get enough rest. That leaves very little grown-up time. Not to mention that we’re both wiped out – it’s sleep or sex, and sleep often wins. That being said, it hasn’t affected our relationship. There was an adjustment period, but now we just have a new normal, and it isn’t better or worse than before (actually, for me it might be better, because I’m a “quality over quantity” type of woman).
January 9, 2012 at 12:32 pm
I did not enjoy the leaking that would happen every time my husband and I had sex when I was nursing. I also didn’t want his mouth anywhere near them, since I spent the majority of my day with them in a baby or toddler mouth! I would put on a sexy bra with nursing pads in it when we had sex. That way he could touch them without accidentally spraying himself (or me!) with them. Our sex life certainly didn’t suffer, and helped us get a little more creative.
January 9, 2012 at 1:34 pm
Susie and Ashley,
Thanks for the comments. I’m sure it’s different for everyone but it’s good to hear what I might be in for!
January 10, 2012 at 2:24 pm
My situation was similar to Susie and Ashley, but I have a friend who had such a high drive that she thought she got pregnant two weeks postpartum even though she was nursing round the clock. Meaning she had sex two weeks after giving birth. I, personally, wouldn’t imagine that, but I guess my drive is a little lower than hers…
January 13, 2012 at 6:46 am
Wow! 2 weeks post-pardum? I can’t imagine that! I assume she had no healing stitches in that area or sex should have been quite painful. At 2 weeks I was still bleeding some and desperately trying to get my newborn to learn to latch properly. Maybe your friend was younger and her body bounced back faster, maybe?
January 13, 2012 at 2:02 pm
Yeah id have to agree that I don’t like them touched because I have the touched out feeling too. Glad I’m not the only one.
January 9, 2012 at 1:39 pm
While I’m not going to click through to the site (all 3 of my kids are swarming), I think that photo is awesome. I can’t understand the fetish, but that’s just because I don’t have a fetish, nor does my husband. My mom donated her milk to a milk bank, since she overproduced, and she said she’d just spray like that involuntarily. Me, not so much. I don’t miss nursing, but if I ever had a kid again (NOT GONNA HAPPEN), I’d do it for as long as possible.
January 9, 2012 at 1:56 pm
It didn’t affect my sex life when I was nursing my three kids. Even though my hubby claimed NOT to be a boob man, he went nuts when my flat chest ballooned while I was prego and nursing. Haha!
January 9, 2012 at 11:37 pm
Also, this: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-12569011
January 9, 2012 at 11:38 pm
In another clip a guy tries it and says “Yep, it’s breast milk!”
January 10, 2012 at 11:56 am
I just wanted to share an email reply I got for this post from J & P Hakamaa that said, “Fuck off you sick bitch!!!!”
She must not have felt it appropriate for the comment board.
I didn’t realize I was being a bitch by posting this. I also didn’t realize that I was in any way sick by pointing out that there are some people who may well be sick or may just happen to be into leaky boobs. I myself was just feeling trepidatious about the future of my own sex life when I happened to run into, what I thought was, a very surprising and odd website. Oh well.
January 10, 2012 at 12:02 pm
There are some strange people roaming around the internet. Sorry you had to get that email, just isn’t a fun addition to the day. I don’t find this post offensive at all. Keep up the great work and interesting posts!
January 10, 2012 at 12:12 pm
Thanks Arsy. I appreciate the comment, and by the way, congrats on your pregnancy!
June 19, 2012 at 5:04 pm
Them calling you a bitch is more offensive than this site! I’m currently nursing my 6 week old and can’t wait to show this to my hubby. He’ll think it’s as hilarious as I do! Thankfully the sensation of my baby nursing is COMPLETELY different than any sexy time touching. Thanks for the entertaining post!
June 19, 2012 at 5:12 pm
Right! I think anybody calling me a bitch for this is either herself morbid or hasn’t experienced the sensation of breastfeeding. Indeed, nursing a baby doesn’t elicit even remotely the same feelings as enjoying sexy time with your partner, even though both involve the breast. Ha!
January 10, 2012 at 12:10 pm
Riiiiiight. You know, because her choice of language just screams “prude”. Eyeroll.
January 11, 2012 at 2:07 pm
haha! that’s damn funny! good find! the things that turn some people on can be quite amusing and if anyone has a problem with you pointing it out then they probably feel guilty about their own creepy fetishes like the people who have problems with kids playing in the sprinklers naked on a hot day. if you have a problem with things like that then it’s probably because you (they) look at things from a perverted stand point i can personally say i’m a fan of pregnant boobs but that’s probably just because there’s so much more of them (size wize) but leaky boobs, hey, whatever lights your fire…
January 11, 2012 at 12:58 am
I’m convinced that milky boobs (leaking or not) are exciting to every “normal” man on the planet – if they confess or not (in public – the prude ones will not).
It is a fetish only when it becomes a general prerequisite for sexual satisfaction.
February 4, 2012 at 10:20 am
I totally agree!
October 4, 2012 at 2:57 pm
with franco
January 11, 2012 at 2:12 am
There’s a fetish for everything. Breastfeeding seems to be one of the more popular ones, though.
January 11, 2012 at 3:26 am
There is a fetish for pregnant women as well. I found that out when I saw it on my cousins computer. Talk about WEIRD! Oh how I wished my brain had a delete button that day!
I wish I had someone to help me. I was only 16, and my son didn’t latch on properly at first, and I think there were probably many times he didn’t empty them. I seemed to have a whole lot of milk, but by 4 1/2 monts, my milk had dried up and I felt like a huge failure. I remember pumping and pumping and just feeling so heartbroken. I didn’t know anyone who breastfed except my Mom who nursed me for 6 months, but not my twin becuase she never latched on properly either, but I think it was all pretty instinctive for her because she really couldn’t help me either. With my second one I made it to 5 1/2 months before i yet again dried up. But with him, I was prepared, and had – through my experiance with Titus, and my desire to give them the best – come across http://www.westonaprice.org and so he was given a home-made formula. What about you Peggy… What would you do if, for some reason, you could not maintain your ability to breast-feed? What would you do?
January 11, 2012 at 6:18 am
A girlfriend of mine and I went through pregnancy and together and she didn’t have success with breastfeeding. She wasn’t into health and didn’t really care anyway because she could just use formula, but it definitely got me thinking. What if I couldn’t breastfeed either. In the first six months I wouldn’t have known what to do, I had never heard of alternatives to formula, but I imagine I would have started an internet search. I despise formula. It’s disgusting non-food and I would have found a way to avoid it. I was much older than you though so searching for an alternative would maybe have come more naturally to me. By the time my daughter was 6 months old, I had heard of Weston Price and knew of alternative formula recipes. Obviously, now, if anything happened to my milk supply, I would have that option. There are also breast milk banks. And of course, these days there’s craigslist.
January 11, 2012 at 8:57 am
I have always been health conscious so I have always had a strong desire to give my kids the best I could, and I ate what the American public would think of as healthful, I never liked sweets or chips anyways – they made me feel disgusting and sick to my stomach. I don’t know why I had the thought that I didn’t want to give this child store formula – call it instinct. I just remembered googling “Make baby formula from scratch” and there it was – WAP. It changed my whole life. So awesome.
I would have never thought of using a milk bank, and definitely couldn’t have afforded it back then, but you made me think. One thing that stops me though is – do you know what those moms are eating?????
January 11, 2012 at 10:06 am
I know Grace! I’ve thought that before myself.
January 13, 2012 at 9:04 am
there’s also Human Milk 4 Human Babies & usually you can find a natural minded meetup group or facebook group that’ll help you find a mama who’s got extra to spare. I had a full weeks worth frozen in case of some emergency that I ended up throwing away when they expired… wish I would’ve known about HM4HB at the time
Also, a good LLL or lactation consultant is huge! I know so many mamas who gave up because they got bad advice & couldn’t get a comfortable latch
Good luck to you & your fam!
January 11, 2012 at 9:16 am
Peggy,
While I do not personally find this post offensive I find it lame. Sorry just being honest. I have breasfed my (two) kiddos for a while (until they were both three years old).
SO many people in the U.S. are still pathetically clueless about breastfeeding and object to breastfeeding in public which is just beyond stupid. The reason why, however, is because they consider female breast a fetish and sex object. YOU are not doing the breastfeeding women who have the right to breastfeed their kids in public any favor and quite the opposite. Obviously, you should feel free to post whatever you want on your blog. Best of luck to you.
January 11, 2012 at 10:30 am
Really? People have foot fetishes but that doesn’t stop us from wearing sandals. People have boob fetishes but that doesn’t stop us from wearing low cut shirts.
The judgement of sick people is hardly most of our concern. I think you’ve taken this too far. “The reason why, however, is because they consider female breast a fetish and sex object.” Where did you get that? I seriously doubt that idea is what keeps people from public breastfeeding. I had never heard of the fetish but I certainly had heard of the public’s disdain for nursing in public.
I nursed my daughter for 18 months and constantly am promoting positive news about breastfeeding. So what if I had a little nervousness about my future sex life. Sharing our fears and concerns helps other women who also have the same feelings. Commiserating is very important. Now, if I had said, “Well if I can’t get this sex thing figured out, then I’m not going to nurse my baby.” That would be doing a disservice to breastfeeding women. Sharing concerns, however, is healthy.
January 11, 2012 at 11:10 am
Yes, really.
Like I said, this is your blog and your right to post whatever is on your mind. Whatever other people might think never stopped me sticking to what I believe in either:-).
But, yes, quite a few women give up on breastfeeding and switch to formula because they feel totally self-conscious about breastfeeding in public and so many women feel they need to cover their breasts when nursing before they give up on nursing altogether (you can look up the stats).
You are a role model in many ways with your very public blog and YOU can do better helping other kiddos get the most of their “primal fuel” early in life. Having a “little nervousness about your future sex life” in understandable and, if that is all you are concerned about, that is your right also. I think you can do a lot better. Maybe, I am holing you to a higher standard than I should.
January 11, 2012 at 1:06 pm
I wasn’t questioning that women are self-conscious about breast feeding in public. That is a well known sad truth. But I would have never thought for a second that the reason they are self-conscious is because they are worried about a fetish. If I’m wrong, well, I’m sorry but, honestly, that would never have occurred to me (or most other women I imagine).
One of my jobs is definitely to help women do what’s right for their kids but another one of my jobs is to ask questions that other people aren’t asking. I sometimes find with my posts that I offend people, and sometimes afterwards I regret what I’ve posted. That’s the difficulty of having a blog where you say not just what is correct but also your thoughts and ideas. One of the benefits is that people come away feeling less alone. It’s a trade off.
Honestly, I don’t think you understand what my standards are. You implied that all I might be concerned about is my sex life. That is so obviously not true I don’t really know what you’re getting at.
I think it’s important to talk about everything, not just what women’s health advocates consider right. Ignoring or hiding truths doesn’t get anyone anywhere. Don’t talk about fetishes because it might scare some women off? That’s not the way I work. That’s not what I believe is right. Women will find out about fetishes, divorce, drugs, death, etc. on their own. At least they know they can come here to learn about how other women feel about them.
May 5, 2012 at 11:51 am
“higher” or just more like yours? I see nothing wrong with this post and i recall feeling the same wa when i learned about this…
January 11, 2012 at 10:19 am
Peggy – love the site, but one suggestion: please make pictures more work-friendly! Thanks!
January 11, 2012 at 10:37 am
Understandable. I won’t make a habit of it, don’t worry.
January 12, 2012 at 11:30 am
I find this post very intriguing. I’m currently breastfeeding my 14 month old and have a good sex life with my husband, though I also feel like I get tired of my breasts being handled some days! My husband and I are aware that there are some men that are particularly in to lactation in a sexual way, but my husband just finds it arousing that I make food for our child with my body. He is a breast man but I had large breasts before they were filled with milk…so his interest in them hasn’t waned;) For me personally, though, until the last few months I really didn’t want to have him touch them much because baby is usually beating them up during the day…but we’re working on that. Every couple is different, but I believe an emotionally open and healthy man will love the fact that you’re making milk for your child and will find your maternal desires very attractive.
Love your blog, by the way:)
January 12, 2012 at 11:41 am
As far as public breastfeeding: I wish things were different in our society in regard to that. I don’t personally do it but will ask for a private place to go nurse him. I can’t really do it stealthily since whipping out a particularly large boob is something I can’t conceal well. Less educated and unsupported women might just give up when it gets more difficult, but I never will. I get asked by judgemental relatives if I’ll be one of those ‘weird’ people who nurses my kid til he’s 8, which I find insulting and uninformed. I plan to nurse him until he and I are done…18-24 months, probably. I guess I’m lucky to have a supportive husband and mother, but I realize not every woman does. As women we need to be open and always talk about our feelings and concerns about the sometimes overwhelming world of breastfeeding…especially to babies after the 1st year has passed. There’s so much judgment out there it’s hard to not feel like a ‘weirdo’ for feeding my baby in the way nature intended. And that’s part of the sometimes unfortunate world in which we live.
January 15, 2012 at 4:01 pm
I’m nursing my children until they’re done. So far my son is 4 and we had to cut down to mornings and nights because he was nursing 6-10 times a day. That on top of his younger sister nursing that often or more, I was totally touched out. But I don’t expect my son to wean himself until well after 5.
January 12, 2012 at 2:50 pm
Got pregnant right away when I got married then we had my son then 2 years later my daughter. I’ve been lactating the whole time. I think that he’ll still want to
January 31, 2012 at 2:30 pm
My son absolutely refused to even put my nipple in his mouth when he was a newborn. Every time I tried to breast feed him he would scream and cry. There was nothing I could do, but that didn’t stop me from feeding him my breastmilk. I bought the best breast pump I could and I used it every single day and fed him my breastmilk in a bottle. That could work well for mom’s who (for some odd reason) might be uncomfortable with breastfeeding their child. Babies need their mother’s milk! It’s what nature intended.
March 10, 2012 at 7:34 am
i had my baby shower last weekend, and sitting next to the table where i was opening gifts was one of my closest friends. she happened to be breastfeeding her 6 week old baby during the shower. to my horror, she was given MANY nasty looks and sighs by one of the hostesses of my shower. i had no idea that anyone at a baby shower would think that feeding your baby at a BABY shower was for shame. i am so pissed about it, i could never speak to this woman again. i feel really embarrassed about the whole situation, but my awesome friend didn’t even say a word about it to me or the lady criticizing her. it wasn’t up for debate to her, it was a decision she made before she had the baby, to breastfeed, and it wasn’t up for argument. it was just something that needed done and she didn’t care!
i hope i take on this brave attitude when it comes to breastfeeding in public. i have no reservations about it now, but i haven’t had the experience yet!
just thought i’d share!
March 10, 2012 at 7:40 am
Wow, Liz. That just about sums up our society. Backwards! I feel for you and your friend. It’s this way not just with breast feeding but with everything natural. I feel like I am often looked upon as a freak for so many things. The only attitude to have anymore is “screw you, I know what I’m doing.” Thanks for sharing!
June 4, 2012 at 11:35 pm
My husband loves my ‘milky boobs’ He couldn’t wait when I was pregnant again for me to begin nursing. He isn’t over the top kinky with it, but we do fit it in. Anyway, if you SO is attracted to them, my advice is not to be weirded out by it. Try a few things and see if you like it as well. A man that can find that sexy just proves that he will be attracted to you no matter what is happening in life.
October 1, 2012 at 2:19 am
hi, i wanted to share. i breastfed my son in public and in general till he was 3 but after 2 it was just a comfort thing. my friend when she was breastfeeding made her hubby to suck on her milky boobs because she was having mastitidis….maybe its spelled incorrectly….inflamed breasts. she was worried about losing milk so he helped her this way.
anyway i think breastfeeding is faaar better than formula….chemical food yak. never ever would i do that to my child. and if someones hubby has a milky boob fetish good for him it doesnt hurt anyone the woman should be pleased.